Remember when I looked like this? Well, it gets worse.I was sixteen years old, and I was working at Wendy's. Yes, I could make the most beautiful single cheeseburger you ever saw in six seconds flat. White red green, white red green yellow...mayo, ketchup, four pickles, two onions, one tomato, lettuce, and mustard in the shape of a "W"...so that each bite gets just the right amount. I made them in my sleep, and still do.
I was spared the bad acne that comes with standing over the greasy fryer all day, but I certainly didn't have guys beating down the door trying to take me on dates, either. Not being an accepted kid and having a crappy homelife, I immersed myself in books and work and every extracurricular activity I could think of. I asked people if they would like to "Biggie Size" with the largest smile I could muster, because I had to earn that $5.25 an hour with zeal!
One day, I was serving up a small chili to send back to the Drive-Thru, and some chili splattered up on my glasses. The Wendy's paper supplies were of utmost quality, and the paper towel I used to wipe off the chili BROKE. MY. GLASSES.
You should have felt the toilet paper.
My dad, bless his heart, did the best he could to fix them, but they snapped pretty much in two. His solution? A coat hanger, wire, and duct tape. So, for a few weeks, I wasn't Harry Potter Girl with the bad Beatles haircut and glasses that were thicker than Mr. Magoo's, I was Coat Hanger Glasses Girl with the bad Beatles haircut. I looked like one of the nerds from Saved by the Bell. I only needed a pocket protector and some suspenders, and I would have been set.
School would have been impossible, since I'm literally blinder than a bat and can't even see the fingers on my hand in front of me or read words in a book without them, much less see anyone far off. But at Wendy's, I had memorized where every button on the register was and could make hamburgers with my eyes closed. So, I tried to wing it without the coat hanger specs. And if you ever got upside-down burgers during that time, I'm terribly sorry.
A few weeks after being Coat Hanger Girl, I got contacts. -7.5 and -8.0. Wendy's chili took two of my eyes away, and for that, I will always be grateful.
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4 comments:
Wendy's can do that to a person...I worked there for 8 months back in 2000 the worst 8 months of my life!
I guess I was pretty fortunate in school. I never needed glasses or braces and the acne was'nt horrible. I was not a stud (too shy). I was labeled the real nice guy all through high school (the curse of all high school virgins). Love your story. Love that picture! Take Care.
oh snap. I have you beat. I had the fine pleasure of being a wendy's girl for 4.5 years.
I so do not miss those days
Hey GNB thanks for writing! I see you everywhere, but I never know which blog to comment on! Are you a bumpshack affiliate? Nice to "meet" you! :-)
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